Picture this: You walk into your beautiful 5,000 square foot home filled with gorgeous furniture and expensive décor. Instead of feeling proud, you feel empty. The lights seem dimmed, and everything feels like “just stuff.”

This happened to Rita Wilkins, a successful interior designer with 40 years of experience. Her downsizing journey from her large home to a tiny apartment will change how you think about possessions…and happiness. Today, Rita is known as “the downsizing designer.”

The Wake-Up Call That Changed Everything

Rita had built the perfect life. As an interior designer, she’d created stunning spaces for clients across the country. She had designed corporate offices and even boasts a Supreme Court justice as a client. When she finally built her own 5,000 square foot dream home, it seemed like the ultimate achievement.

But life had other plans.

During a month-long visit to her son in Senegal, where he served in the Peace Corps, Rita experienced something profound. She watched villagers with almost nothing share a meal with pure joy. One mother even carved a wooden spoon just for Rita and shared the best portion of her tiny chicken.

“I had never experienced people who had nothing, but they were happy,” Rita recalls.

When she returned home, her beautiful house felt different. All her carefully chosen items suddenly seemed meaningless.

The Emotional Side of Letting Go

Downsizing isn’t just about stuff. It’s about emotions. Rita understands this better than most.

“I’m looking at my mom’s china or my mom’s teacup. It makes you cry,” she explains. You think, “If I gave that away, then I would be giving away those wonderful memories.”

Sound familiar? We all have items that tug at our heartstrings. Rita developed a five-step process to handle these feelings:

  1. Acknowledge the emotion. (Cry if you need to.)
  2. Ask yourself what would happen if you kept just one or two pieces of a set instead of the whole thing.
  3. Take photos of special items.
  4. Write down the stories behind the objects.
  5. Focus on keeping memories, not objects

Here is Rita’s 5-step guide to losing the clutter but not the memories.

The “Declutter Backwards” Method

Here’s where Rita’s approach gets interesting. Instead of asking “What should I get rid of?” she flips the question.

“What do I want to keep?” she asks instead.

This simple mindset shift changes everything. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: The Keepers Take out everything you love and want to keep. Put these items in a safe place.

Step 2: The Losers Look at what’s left. These are likely items you haven’t used, don’t fit, or don’t make you happy.

Step 3: The Maybes Create a “maybe box” for items you’re unsure about. Store it for 30 days. If you don’t think about these items during that time, donate them.

This positive approach helps you focus on what brings joy instead of dwelling on what to discard.

Why Giving Beats Selling

Many people want to sell their items when downsizing. Rita has a reality check for you.

“We might have spent $300 on that lamp. You’re not getting $300 for it,” she warns.

The current market is flooded with baby boomer belongings. Brown furniture and formal china aren’t selling like they used to. Plus, our kids often live in smaller spaces and don’t want our stuff.

Rita suggests trying to sell if you want, but don’t be surprised when you make $67 after three days of yard sale prep work.

Instead, she recommends “compassionate decluttering.” Find local organizations that need your items:

  • Homeless shelters (for professional clothing)
  • Habitat for Humanity (for furniture)
  • Churches and schools
  • Young families just starting out
  • Vintage stores (many of our items qualify as vintage now)

Rita has a free resource for you: “100 Places to Donate Your Stuff to a Good Cause“

Quick Tips for Busy People

Rita knows we’re all busy. That’s why she created “Five Quick Tips in Five Minutes” – short videos that give actionable advice without overwhelming you.

Some examples:

  • Tackle your workbench instead of the entire garage
  • Focus on one closet instead of your whole bedroom
  • Set a timer for 15 minutes and see what you can accomplish

Visit Rita’s YouTube channel for much more.

When Your Spouse Doesn’t Want to Downsize

Rita calls them “dueling downsizers.” They are the couples where one person wants to declutter and the other doesn’t.

Her advice? Communication, not confrontation.

“You have to get to a place where you talk to each other, not yell at each other,” she says.

Sometimes it takes time. Rita shares a story about her brother, a banker who resisted downsizing for years. His wife wanted to move closer to grandchildren, but he couldn’t imagine leaving their family home.

After gentle persistence and “planting seeds,” he finally came around. Now he says they should have downsized sooner.

The Results: Less Stuff, More Life

Rita gave away 95% of her possessions when she moved from her 5,000 square foot house to an 867 square foot apartment.

The result? She’s never been happier.

“I have so much less, but I’m so much happier,” she reflects. “My life was designed for more than having stuff.”

Your Next Steps

Ready to start your own downsizing journey? Here’s what Rita recommends:

  1. Start small. Pick one drawer or one closet.
  2. Use the “declutter backwards” method.
  3. Address the emotions that come up.
  4. Find local organizations that need your items.
  5. Be patient with yourself and your family.

Remember, this isn’t about depriving yourself. It’s about creating space for what truly matters.

Rita has two books to help you in your journey:

Hungry for more downsizing tips?:

Whether you’re planning a move or just feeling overwhelmed by your possessions, Rita Wilkins has an approach that offers hope. It’s downsizing tips and so much more. Sometimes the path to more joy really does mean having less stuff.

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