Have you ever called a parent 17 times before getting through?

Dr. Barbara Blackburn has. And she’ll tell you it was worth every single call.

With 40 published books and recognition as a Global Gurus Top 30 education expert for ten consecutive years, Dr. Blackburn knows what works in parent communication. She’s distilled decades of classroom and leadership experience into two free resources that every teacher and principal needs. In this interview, she shares valuable nuggets and offers some free resources.

Why Parent Communication Matters More Than Ever

Teachers face unprecedented challenges today. Burnout is real. Negativity weighs heavy. When parent conflicts arise, they can feel like the final straw.

But here’s the truth: strong parent partnerships make everything easier.

When you and parents work as a team, you attack problems together. You both focus on helping the child succeed. Nobody wastes energy fighting each other while the student watches from the sidelines.

The Banking Approach to Parent Relationships

Dr. Blackburn shares a powerful metaphor: treat parent communication like a bank account.

You must make deposits before you can make withdrawals.

That’s why she called one parent 17 times at the start of the school year. She wanted to share something positive about the student before any problems arose. When she finally reached the mom at work, the conversation lasted just minutes. Dr. Blackburn introduced herself and praised Daniel’s effort in class.

Two weeks later, Daniel had a serious problem. When Dr. Blackburn called, the mom’s tone was completely supportive. That initial deposit paid off.

Three Game-Changing Strategies from the Guide

Dr. Blackburn’s A-to-Z guides include 26 strategies for working with parents. Here are three that transform relationships:

A: Acknowledge Their Partnership

As a brand-new teacher, Dr. Blackburn’s mentor told her, “Never forget, you are the expert and you are in charge.”

She quickly learned that approach fails. It sounds dictatorial and creates conflict.

Instead, start the year with three questions:

• What should I know about your child?
• How can I best help them learn?
• What can I do for you so we have a successful year?

These questions shift the dynamic. You’re building a partnership, not asserting dominance.

F: Finish with Clear Next Steps

After every parent conversation, summarize what happens next. Parents are busy. They hang up and rush to make dinner or head to their next appointment.

Provide specific action steps for home and school. Maybe the student needs a dedicated homework time each day. Perhaps parents should check the assignment notebook before bed. Simple routines make a huge difference.

Some parents excel at these strategies naturally. Others never think of them. Your guidance helps both groups support their children better.

Y: Yield on Minor Issues

Sometimes you win the battle but lose the war.

Pick your battles carefully. If something isn’t critical, let it go. Don’t major in minors. Your long-term goal is helping the student learn. Minor disagreements can damage the relationship you need to achieve that goal.

When you yield on small issues, parents see you’re reasonable. They’re more likely to support you on matters that truly count.

Two Versions: Elementary and Secondary

Dr. Blackburn created separate guides for elementary and secondary teachers. Both include the strategies above, which work across all grade levels.

The secondary version addresses social media challenges with parents. The elementary guide includes tips on reading resources and supporting younger children at home.

But the core principles remain the same: treat parents with respect, stay kind, avoid defensiveness, and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Using the Guides for Professional Development

School leaders can use these guides in multiple ways:

• Share one strategy at each faculty meeting
• Let teachers choose which letters matter most to them
• Have teachers present strategies to their colleagues
• Focus on the most relevant topics for your school community

You don’t need to cover all 26 strategies. Pick what fits your needs.

The guides include a professional development session at the end. This makes implementation easy for administrators.

Breaking the Negative Cycle

Teachers today face constant negativity. The pressure builds. Then a parent issue arises, and all that frustration pours out.

Dr. Blackburn warns against this “kick the dog” syndrome. You’re upset about five other things, so you take it out on whoever’s in front of you.

These guidelines help you maintain productive relationships even when you’re exhausted. They remind you of what works when stress clouds your judgment.

Beyond Parents: Working with Families

Remember that “parent” communication extends beyond biological parents. You might work with aunts, uncles, grandparents, or older siblings. Think broadly about family partnerships.

The same strategies apply regardless of who raises the child. Respect, kindness, and clear communication work universally.

Get Your Free Resources

Dr. Blackburn is offering both guides completely free. Join her email newsletter, and you get them for free.

When you download, you can also sign up for Dr. Blackburn’s new e-newsletter. It covers student engagement, student motivation, parent communication, rigor, and productive struggle.

More from Dr. Barbara Blackburn

Want to dive deeper into effective teaching strategies? Dr. Blackburn has written 40 books on education topics. Her work spans classroom motivation, student agency, leadership, and productive struggle.

You’ll find her featured on numerous podcasts and educational platforms. A quick search reveals decades of practical wisdom for teachers and administrators.

Visit Barbara Blackburn’s website at

Start Making Deposits Today

Don’t wait for a problem to make your first parent contact. Reach out now with something positive. Share a student’s strength. Acknowledge their effort. Ask those three partnership questions.

Yes, it might take 17 calls. Make them anyway.

When challenges arise later, and they will, you’ll have a partner instead of an adversary. That relationship might be the difference between a student who succeeds and one who struggles.

Download your free A-to-Z guide today. Pick one strategy. Put it into action this week.

Your students, and their families, will thank you.

If you enjoyed this content, join the email list so you never miss a thing. You receive two gifts for joining. One gets your desk clean. The other puts everything you have to do in one digital place. It’s time to Get Organized! and make it look easy.

Want to see more videos? Visit the YouTube channel.

Want to listen instead? Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or search for Get Organized! by Dr. Frank Buck wherever you listen to podcasts.